A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

"You're so selfish, Amy!" Corrine looked ready to throw her forkful of mashed potatoes across the table at her younger sister.

Amy took a deep breath before she responded to her older sister; she felt capable of stabbing Corrine with her own fork. "I don't understand what you think is so selfish, Corrine." Amy grimaced as she spoke.

"I asked you what you like about your job; you tell everyone you love it so much. Why won't you tell me?"

Amy sighed again, trying to formulate an appropriate response. She had resisted telling her sister that she loved working at the Sears's photography center because she could practice the hobby she hoped to someday turn into a career. Just a few moments before asking her sister about work, Corrine had offered strongly worded complaints about the new photography collection at the Portland Art Museum. Apparently Corrine had been stuck in downtown traffic created by the grand opening of the new permanent photography collection. Amy was unconvinced that even in Portland could a new wing in a museum upset traffic that much, but she resisted arguing with her sister. Corrine's complaints about the value of photography had made Amy hesitant to share her desire to become a photographer. She was again presented with the need to respond to her sister without heightening the already tense situation.

"It's nothing against you, Corrine," Amy started off with a blatant lie, "I just don't have any specific reasons for liking my job. It fits me well all around." At least her last sentence was true.

Corrine was unsatisfied and violently stabbed at the gravy drenched turkey on her plate as she grumbled, "I still think you're not being honest with me."

"I'm so thankful to have both my beautiful daughters here on Thanksgiving!" The interruption of their father seemed ill timed, but at least it was redirecting the conversation rather than irritating the argument as his comments usually did. "And my beautiful wife and granddaughter, and you, too, Stuart." He laughed at his own unfunny joke that resisted calling his son-in-law beautiful. Stuart politely chuckled along, still uncomfortable by his wife and sister-in-law's heated exchanged. It wasn't the first time he'd witnessed the sisters fight, but no one likes to be a bystander in a family quarrel.

"Thanks for hosting us, Mom and Dad," Stuart awkwardly tried to push the conversation further away from the sisters' argument.

The family finished their meal in uncomfortable silence.

Amy's mom insisted that they have time to let their dinner settle before bringing out the pies. Amy would have preferred to leave immediately after dinner, but she knew it would only upset her sister more. She settled into the twenty-year old sofa to watch the holiday made for TV movie her dad had turned on. The predictable plot couldn't keep Amy's attention, and her mind replayed the conversation from earlier that afternoon. Corrine had made a comment about how art was worthless, and Amy had subsequently shut down emotionally for the rest of the day. Amy brooded through the cliché kiss at the end of the holiday movie when her mom finally decreed it was time for dessert.

Amy sat herself down at the countertop where all the pies were laid out and served herself a large slice of apple pie. She lifted the first forkful to her mouth when Corrine interrupted her enjoyment of warm apple and cinnamon.

"Listen, Amy, I don't want us to leave upset." Her tone was patronizing. Amy chose to keep her focus on her pie as her sister continued.

"Maybe we could have lunch tomorrow," Corrine said, "I really want to be friends with you, not just sisters." Corrine reached her hand out to touch her little sister's left hand while she finished speaking. Amy's first instinct was to recoil her hand at the first touch, but she chose to keep her hand under her sister's although every muscle in her body was tense. She took another bite of pie with her free right hand.

"I know," Corrine continued, "We could go see a movie. What's out right now?"

"There's that movie version of Rent -"
            "Ugh, the artsy one, right? I don't want to see that. What a waste of time. Why would anyone waste time watching that?"

"I think it's a cultural representation of modern life to demonstrate the relevance of -"
            "Whatever, I don't want to see it. What else is out?"

Amy pushed the crumbs of her pie around on her plate. "I don't know what else is out."

"How about we just go Christmas shopping? I need to buy Beth some Christmas presents downtown. Black Friday shopping might be a fun adventure." Corrine's voice dripped with anticipation at this new idea.

Amy was still caught up on Corrine's offhand comment dismissing the validity of an artistic representation of the modern context. She had also been planning to go to the Portland Art Museum on black Friday to enjoy the new photography exhibit. It was the region's largest permanent exhibition space dedicated to photography within a museum, and it had just opened a month ago. Amy was a museum member, but had not had a day off to enjoy the new exhibit.

She cleared her throat as she pushed her chair away from the countertop. "I don't think I can go shopping with you tomorrow, Corrine. I already had plans for tomorrow." She picked up her plate and placed it in the kitchen sink. "I think I'm going to head back to my apartment. Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad. Bye, Stuart, Corrine. Beth, give me some snuggles." She wrapped her little niece up in a big hug as she walked towards the door.

"I wish you didn't have to rush out, sweetie," her mom said.
"I've been here all day, Mom. Thanks for cooking dinner. I'll see you later." She hugged each of her family members at the door and passed Beth back to her mom.

She wrapped her warm mustard colored pea coat around herself and headed out to her car.

The next morning Amy was once again wrapping her bright colored coat around her as she prepared for her adventure downtown to the art museum. Her phone rang as she was pulling on her gloves. She let it go to voicemail and heard her out of date answering machine mimic the dull "Speak" of Mark and Roger in Rent. She laughed at the inside joke her sister clearly didn't get.

"What does that even mean, Amy? It's Corinne, by the way. Look, I just wanted to check that you couldn't change your plans for today. I'm going downtown to check out some of the baby boutiques for some gifts for Beth. Stuart is going to stay at home with her, so it'll just be the two of us. I really want you to open up to me. I hate that we've got this gap between us. We're sisters; we should be best friends. Anyways, give me a call back. I'm leaving at two. Bye."

Amy ignored Corrine's value judgment about what their relationship should look like and walked to the MAX station to visit the photography exhibit as planned. She tucked her earbuds in as she settled into the hour long train ride before she had to walk the final quarter mile to the art museum. When the MAX pulled into the Library stop, Amy slung her bag over her shoulder and headed down Park Avenue. It only took her a few minutes to walk the five blocks to the museum entrance, and she was thankful for the warmth that greeted her when she opened the door. Amy handed her museum pass and ID to the shaggy haired clerk who smiled as he returned them with her ticket.

"Enjoy your visit."

"Thanks, I will." Amy made her way from the main entrance directly to the main floor of the Jubitz Center where the new photography collection was. She took nearly two hours winding in and out of the partial walls that jutted out of the long back wall designated for pictures from the last several generations. Her skin tingled at the thought that maybe someday her pictures would hang with these. As she was most familiar with photographing people because of her job, Amy spent more time gazing at the faces framed on the wall. One particular photo of a Native American taken in the late nineteen thirties particularly fascinated Amy. She stepped close to the photo so that her face was only inches from the tiny representation of the man's face and tried to look into his eyes. He was squinting off to the side, and one of his eyes was drooping lower than the other. She took a step back to reevaluate the full picture of his startling hair, styled to stick out six inches off his head, in conjunction with his focused gaze. She stepped closer again to look at the detail on his weathered vest, his deep wrinkled skin, his lips glued in a thoughtful frown. After ten minutes looking at this one photo, Amy moved on to survey the rest of the photography.

She made her way upstairs to the post 1960s art and spent another hour there before moving on to the contemporary art on the top floor. At three she realized she was getting hungry, having spent the last four hours in the museum rather than eating lunch. She made her way back to Park Avenue and walked up to Yamhill before turning east towards the Pioneer Place Mall. She tucked her hands in the pockets of her warm yellow jacket as she marched through the brisk fall air. The ten blocks to the mall was enough distance to turn her cheeks red from the cold. She stayed wrapped in her coat as she made her way to the basement food court.

Christmas shoppers were still jammed into every store. The dedicated Black Friday customers were still going strong late in the afternoon, and Amy was frustrated by the extra bustle. She noticed McDonald's had the shortest line, so she made her way to the counter and ordered a burger. There wasn’t any available seating that Amy could see, so she began to walk back towards the escalator to return to street level. Just after she passed the Gymboree, Amy thought she heard someone call her name. She paused for a moment and heard it again.

"Amy!"

This time she recognized the voice. Amy faltered, not wanting to turn around, but knowing it would be childish to run away from her sister in the crowded mall.

"I know that coat, Amy. I'd know that horrible yellow anywhere." Her sister had walked up behind her. "What are you doing here?"

Amy continued chewing the bite of her hamburger that was in her mouth as she thought of an answer.

Corrine didn't wait for her to finish, "This - this is what you had plans to do today? Eat McDonald's by yourself at the mall? You turned down Christmas shopping for your niece with me for this? A Big Mac? I can't believe you, Amy! I was trying to reach out to you, and you shut me down for a Big Mac. What's wrong with you? Don't you care about family at all? Why won't you be friends with me, Amy? Answer me!" Corrine's tone was menacing, and she looked prepared to use her shopping bags as weapons against her sister if Amy's answers weren't satisfactory.

Amy had finished chewing at this point, but she wished she hadn't swallowed yet. "I, uh, just needed a day to myself. I haven't been shopping without you, I promise. I just needed to get a burger and happened to come in here."

"You couldn't find a McDonald's that satisfied you anywhere closer than half an hour from your apartment?"

"I didn't just come downtown for the McDonald's, Corinne." Amy was irritated with her sister's judgmental accusations.

"Well, then why? Why did you come downtown, Amy? Tell me."

"I haven't been downtown in a while, and I just decided I wanted to spend a few hours out here alone," she replied.

She was unwilling to be completely honest with her sister, and Corinne sensed there was missing information. Tears of frustration formed in Corrine's eyes as she recognized that her little sister was yet again refusing to open up to her. Amy sighed, not wanting to make a scene amongst the Christmas shopping frenzy.

"Corrine, do we really have to do this here? Look, I'm sorry I didn't want to go shopping with you. To be honest, I hate shopping. I didn't come to the mall to shop; I came to find cheap protein to keep my body functioning."

Corrine sniffed, and the tears still threatened to spill from her eyes. "I can't help but take it personally, Amy."

Amy sighed heavily; she couldn't help but take it personally that Corinne hated art. Torn by the decision to hurt Corinne or allow Corinne to hurt her, Amy offered a weak apology.

"I'm sorry, Corinne. I'll see you later."

Without giving her sister a chance to respond, Amy turned and walked away. She hugged the yellow coat close to herself and kept her head down as her sister let the tears finally fall.

"Amy!" She called out and started towards her sister, "Amy, you can't just leave me like that. That's so rude! I can't believe you sometimes. Let's be mature about this. Why can't you tell me what you had to do today?"

"I guess I can't be as mature as you right now, Corinne."

The sarcasm was lost on the self righteous sister. Amy didn't stop as she delivered her response, and Corinne struggled to keep up with Amy's pace. Several shopping bags swayed and smashed next to the sisters as they walked briskly along. Corinne offered a few more frustrated pleas for Amy's confession, but the aspiring photographer refused. By the time they reached the door to the street, Corinne gave up and turned back to finish her shopping. Amy stepped outside and crossed Morrison to wait for the next westbound MAX. As she waited by the platform, Amy noticed a photographer snapping photos of a kissing couple. She smiled in satisfaction, realizing that although her sister would never understand her love of photography, there were at least three other people in the city of Portland who appreciated the art.